Groupthink at DUI

A serial play written by Gail Taylor for Pretty Kitty Publishing (copyright, 2014). 

Scene

DuCamp Union Institute (DUI), beautiful, with lots of trees, fountains, and glass-boxes, attracts studious, yet coddled 30-somethings known for being nerdy-rich and less attractive than B-list international and Hollywood celebrities.

Arriving on the first day of her fourth year at DUI is Jane Kensington Smith (JKS), a glamorous, brainy, doctoral candidate in European thought. JKS is of indeterminate ethnic and religious identity.

She enters the office of 83-year-old Professor Emeritus Sir Heathe Bishop, her mentor. He is pale, has liver-spots, yet is sharp-minded, but has OCD (obsessive-compulsive-disorder). His biggest obsession is lighting fixtures.

Jane's relationship with Sir Heathe is tenuous. This is to be their last meeting.

JANE ENTERS HEATHE'S OFFICE. SHE IS DRESSED CONSERVATIVELY, A TAILORED SPORT JACKET OVER SLACKS.HER ONLY ORNAMENTATION IS A PEACOCK-FEATHER PIN ORNAMENTING HER LAPEL.

HEATHE SITS BEHIND HIS DESK. HIS OFFICE HAS THE ARCHITECTURE AND TRIMMINGS OF A CALIFORNIA-STYLE CARPENTER HOME. BUT THE INTERIOR IS PAINTED A DEMURE GRAY. ALL OF THE BOOK SHELVES ARE EMPTY.

HEATHE LOOKS LIKE HE HASN'T SLEPT FOR DAYS.

JANE IS SURPRISED BY HIS LOOKS AND THE ABSENCE OF BOOKS.

JANE

  Hello, Professor Bishop.

HEATHE

(Looking up from his e-reader).

  Hello. Just leave it by the ... Uh, oh. Jane! Hello.

JANE

  Right. Yes, good morning.

HEATHE

  Have you come for something?

JANE

  Is now a good time? If it isn't, I can ... It's just that, I thought you would be expecting me? 

HEATHE

(Long pause.)

JANE

  You know, the manuscript? 

HEATHE

(Long pause.)

JANE

  Professor, may I sit down?

HEATHE

(Snaps to attention.) 

Yes, of course, and why don't we move to the table? 

HEATHE MOTIONS TO A SMALL, ROUND TABLE NEAR A SUNNY WINDOW IN THE OFFICE WHERE THEY WATCH STUDENTS PASSING BY.

HEATHE

  What brings you here? 

JANE

(Smiling.)

  Well, just this.

(She reaches into her luxe-tote and pulls out a 500-page manuscript adorned with multi-colored Post-its.)

  It took me about six-weeks. I have attached my comments to the top. My hand-written notations are on the Post-its. And may I say, what am honor it was for me to read your work.

  And to be apart of such an endeavor. 

HEATHE

(Long pause.)

JANE

  This was the highlight of my semester, editing your book. And I learned so much about --

HEATHE

  Right. 

JANE

  You will find my notes are quite detailed. To the point, even. Here, have a look and --

HEATHE

  OK. Look, Jane --

HEATHE PLACES HIS HAND ON THE MANUSCRIPT AND SLIDES IT TOWARD HIM. HE BRIEFLY EYEBALLS JANE'S COMMENTS BEFORE STANDING UP, AND WALKING TO HIS DESK WHERE HE PLACES THE MANUSCRIPT AND JANE'S NOTES ON HIS DESK.

HE REACHES INTO HIS ECO-FRIENDLY BRIEFCASE.

JANE

NERVOUSLY.

  So, will you let me know what's next? Is it the index?

HEATHE

PULLS OUT A BROWN PAPER BAG AND SITS BACK DOWN AT THE ROUND TABLE. HE PUTS THE BAG IN BETWEEN HIMSELF AND JANE.

  Look, Jane, I am sure your comments are good. I have always thought you to be a good writer, and a good editor. There are others who are better than you, and there are many others who are not as good as you. Many others, yes, yes. I will look at your comments. And I will share them with Willard when he arrived from Cambridge, later.

JANE

  I'm sorry, Willard? Do I know him?

HEATHE

HEATHE SLOWLY OPENS THE BROWN PAPER BAG. IN A MOCKING TONE OF VOICE, HE SAYS:

  Willard? Do I know him?

JANE

(SUDDENLY TAKEN ABACK.)

  What is going on? I do not know any Willard? But if you want to discuss this, I am certainly open to having a discussion.

HEATHE

(Heathe laughs hysterically. He cannot control his laughter.)

  Well, excuse me. I am so glad to know you are open to having a discussion, but your service is no longer required. 

  And (Heathe reaches into the brown paper bag.) if you continue to pursue this matter as Willard edits my new book, you will --

JANE

  Excuse me, Professor. What is in that bag?

HEATHE

(Heathe wistfully glances out the window and slowly turns back to Jane.)

  Look, Jane. I really haven't the time. It is my lunch.

(Heathe pulls out one long celery stick from the brown paper bag and one hard-boiled egg. He places these items on clear, plastic wrap).

JANE

  OK. 

  Fine. 

  But we still have yet to discuss my work? My monograph.

HEATHE

(Places celery stalk suggestively against his lips.)

  Oh, that. 

  Care to stay for lunch?

[DISSOLVE.]

(To be continued.)